Wednesday, April 27, 2011


My race has forgotten the beauty of meaning much by saying little.

Now tongues work all by themselves with no help from the mind.

I could make a point strong enough to stop a womb--or a knife.

Each story has a monster in it who made them tough instead of brave so they open their legs rather than their hearts where that folded child is tucked.

Most demons get hungry at supper time like us.

After Dark

Eyes mark the shape of the city.

The district plays by its own rules at a time like this.

She seems to be biting off and chewing the book one line at a time.

Even at a time like this, the street is bright enough and filled with people coming and going--people with places to go and people with no place to go; people with a purpose and people with no purpose; people trying to hold time back and people trying to urge it forward.

As you wish

You don't have to answer. I was just asking myself.

If you really want to know something, you have to be willing to pay the price.

He couldn't suppress that curiosity, no matter how big the price was he had to pay.

We take what we can get.

Everybody's got their own battlefields.

Love ho - love hotel

Ni Zemme Le? - What happened?

Time is unclear.

Defer judgment and accept the situation as it is.

I'd better study hard because I'm too ugly for anything else.

I don't stand a chance if you compare me to her.

Between the last train leaves and the first train arrives, the place changes: its not the same as in daytime.

A hint of fatigue shows on her face now that she is allowing herself to relax.

In Alphaville, you're not allowed to have deep feelings. So there's nothing like love. No contradictions, no irony.

Irony means taking an objective and inverted view of oneself or of something belonging to oneself and discovering oddness in that.

Sex that does not need love or irony.

I was tough but everything has its limits.

I don't know how to do things half way.

But maybe sometimes you don't really have it together.

It's not a question of what I think. It's part of being 19 years old. I used to be nineteen myself once. I know what its like.

Time moves in its own special way in the middle of the night.

I can't stand by and let a son-of-a-bitch pull shit like that.

The ordinary-looking ones are the most dangerous. They carry around a shitload of stress.

Its possible for people to draw closer to each other even while they keep a reasonable distance between them.

Three AM. This is the darkest part of the night--the hardest part.

Giving birth to that kind of shared state.

But if I were to say "I cant answer that" in this context, it'd be a de facto yes. That's willful negligence.

I'd just picked up on stuff around the margins of what she said, and put it together just now in my imagination.

But it doesn't matter how I feel: the world we live in are too different. And there's nothing I can do about it. No matter how hard I try.

Certain things it's better not to know.

Live one day at a time.

We are a sheer point of view, we cannot influence things in any way.

The ground we stand on looks solid enough, but if something happens it can drop right out from under you. And once that happens, you've had it: things will never be the same. All you can do is go on living alone there in darkness.

I don't really know what's going on of course, but it seems to me your sister must have some big problem she's trying to deal with, some she can't solve on her own. So all she wants to do is go to bed and sleep, to get away from the flesh-and-blood world for a while. I think I know what she feels. Or should I say, I know exactly how she feels.

Nothingness means there's absolutely nothing, so maybe there's no need to understand it or imagine it.

I was such an easy mark.

I was scared not to have somebody putting his arms around me, so I could never say no. That's all.

In this world, there are things you can only do alone and things you can only do with somebody else.

All I can do is try me best and see it through to the end.

People's memories are maybe fuel they burn to stay alive.

You'll never get might forget what you did but we will never forget.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Eat, Pray, Love

It's my efforts to find balance. many curious forms

Say it like you eat it.

I wish Giovanni would kiss me. Oh but there are so many reasons why this would be a terrible idea. To begin with, Giovanni is ten years younger than I am, and--like most Italian guys in their 20's--he still lives with her mother.

In daylight hours, I refused that thought but at night it would consume me.

The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving.

You don't need to know the final answer right now.

How do you negotiate once you have offered everything?

I am the planet's most affectionate life form.

Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation--based love story.

You have now reached infatuation's final destination--the complete and merciless devaluation of self.

Is this lifetime supposed to be only about duty?

...with even civility between us...

Labbiamo rotto (we broke it)

I get to thinking a little too much, and then my thinking turns to brooding, and that's when they catch up with me.

Loneliness is going to make me sleep with him tonight again, I just know it.

I became a student of my own depressed experience, trying to unthread its causes.

Did I have a chemical imbalance? or did I just need to get laid?

The art of making something out of nothing.

So be lonely. Learn your way around loneliness. Sit with it for once in your life. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.

If I love you, you can have everything.

ridiculously, hurtfully and stupidly beautiful...

They look so good I want to applaud.

...devishly attractive, cruelly handsome or surprisingly muscular...

I wanted to lean my head on his lap and let him pour his eloquent romantic--into my ears forever.

Deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific location, a coordinate on a map of time.

Sadness is a place.

Attraversiamo - "Let's cross over"

It's time for us to end our story forever. We were already separated that was official but there was still a window of hope left open that perhaps someday we could give things another try. WE loved each other. That was never a question.

We could spend our lives together in misery but happy to not be apart.

I not only can find happiness with him, but MUST. No matter how much I love him and I do love him (in stupid excess), I have to say goodbye to this person now.

If you want to look for another partner in your life of course you have nothing but my blessings.

Just hang in there and everybody will be okay.

I cant seem to get my mind to hold still.

Prayer is the act of talking to God. Meditation is the act of listening.

When I ask my mind to rest in stillness, it is astonishing how quickly it will turn (1) bored (2) angry (3) depressed (4) anxious (5) all of the above

The problem is the emotional attachment that goes along with the thinking.

Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are slave to your emotions.

Why have I been chasing my happiness if it was all here with me all the time?

You got zapped!

Soulmate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. They tear down your walls and smack you awake.

You have control issues.

Let go, sit still and allow contentment to come to you.

There are only 2 questions that human beings have ever fought over all throughout history: How much do you love me? and Who's in charge? 2 questions of love and control

Fighting so hard against myself

I sign off with love.

We are not what other one needs.

Beauty attracts beauty.

I'm choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am.

I'm making space for the unknown future to fill up my life with yet-to-come surprises.

Insurance against late regret.

It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection.

I can get by--Me la Cavo

Why ask?

He was powerful and I died of love in his shadow.

I find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight.

You're a pathetic mess, unrecognizable even to your own eyes.

He drew us each into our own silence.

Straightforward and bottomless YES.

The ego's job is to keep itself in power.

The resting place of the mind is the heart.

How many more sleeps before you come back to me?

Maybe this is just some stupid romance idea, but I need you to understand darling, for you, I am even willing to suffer. Whatever pain happens to us in the future, I accept it already, just for the pleasure of being with you now.

To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life.

I was perfectly happy with my boring life before you came along.

Contentment should not be your ambition.

Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.

This is a good sign: having a broken heart: It means we have tried for something.

The hardest part of your life is behind you, Henelsie.

Man is a demon, man is a god. Both true.

How old do you feel?

He's got a smile that could stop crime, and he's got a long complicated life story for somebody so young.

As above, so below.

I am so glad I had made the decision to stay alone.

We gave them a reason to be lonely.

I'd been a girl who loved boys from afar.

Every now and then that song comes on the radio and I smile as I remember the days when I loved him.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

South of the Border, West of the Sun

You take either all of me or nothing.

There are certain things you cant undo.

Anyhow, I didn't give up is that I thought if you were to come back to me, I would be able to take you back.

Maybe you will hurt me again. Or maybe next time, I'll hurt you. No one can promise anything.

Neither of us can make any promises. But I still do love you.

Death is not the opposite but a part of life.

He lived in his own special hell.

“At this hour?” she said, surprised. “Why do you have to go all the way to Hakone at this hour?”

“There’s something I need to think over,” I said.

“So you won’t be back tonight?”

“Probably not.”

“Darling, I’ve been thinking over what happened, and I’m really sorry. You were right. I got rid of all the stock. So why don’t you come home?”

“Yukiko, I’m not angry at you. Not at all. Forget about that I just want some time to think. Give me one night, OK?”

She said nothing for a while. Then: “All right.” She sounded exhausted. “Go to Hakone. But be careful driving. It’s raining.”

“I will.”

“There’s so much I don’t understand,” my wife said. “Tell me one thing: am I in your way?”

“Not at all,” I replied. “It has nothing to do with you. If anything, the problem’s with me. So don’t worry about it, OK? I just want some time to think.”

“Hajime,” she began, “this is very important, so listen carefully. As I told you before, there is no middle ground with me. You take either all of me or nothing. That’s the way it works. If you don’t mind continuing the way we are now, I don’t see why we can’t do that. I don’t know how long we’d be able to, but I’ll do everything in my power to see that it happens. When I’m able to come and see you, I will. But when I can’t , I can’t. I can’t just come whenever I feel like it. You may not be satisfied with that arrangement, but if you don’t want me to go away again, you have to take all of me. Everything. All the baggage I carry, everything that clings to me. And I will take all of you. Do you understand that? Do you understand what that means?”
“I’m not blaming you,” she continued. “If you love someone else, there’s not much anyone can do about it. You love who you love. I’m not enough for you. I know that. We’ve got on well together and you’ve taken good care of me. I’ve been very happy living with you. I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.” [Yukiko]

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“There’s no need to apologize,” she said. “If you want to leave me, that’s OK. I won’t say a thing. Do you want to leave me?”

“I don’t know,” I replied. “Can I explain what’s happened?”

“You mean about you and that woman?”

“Yes,” I said.

She shook her head emphatically. “I don’t want to hear anything about her. Don’t make me suffer any more that I already have. I don’t care what kind of relationship the two of you have or what plans you’ve made. I don’t want to hear about it. What I do want to know is whether or not you want to leave me. I don’t need the house, or money – or anything. If you want the children, take them. I’m serious. If you want to leave me, just say the word. That’s all I want to know. I don’t want to hear anything else. Just yes or no.”

“I don’t know,” I said.

“You mean you don’t know if you want to leave me or not?”

“No. I don’t know if I’m even capable of giving you an answer.”

“When will you know?”

I shook my head.

“Well, then, take your time and think about it.” She sighed. I don’t mind waiting. Take as long as you like.”

Norwegian Wood

Life doesn't require ideals. It requires standards of action.

They are important things I cant go on avoiding any longer.

Maybe it felt that way because I had thought about it so often--too often, to the point where it had distorted my sense of time.

Don't let yourself get impatient.

I have a lot more patience for others than I have for myself, and I'm much better bringing out the best in others than in myself.

If you're in pitch blackness, all you can do is sit tight until your eyes get used to the dark.

If you do not, please lie to me later and tell me that you did.

The love is so good we can barely cope.

Things will go where they're supposed to go if you just let them take their natural course.

Despite your best efforts, people are going to hurt when it's time for them to be hurt.

Open up a little more and let yourself go with life's natural flow.

Stop eating yourself alive.

Too many memories of him were crammed inside me, and as soon as one of them found the slightest opening, the rest would force their way out in an endless stream, and unstoppable flood.

Death brought life to an end.

I dont have any way for you to get in.

There's no way I dont want to do it with you. I'm going crazy, I want to do it so bad. But it just wouldnt be right.

The best thing is to keep away.