Saturday, January 9, 2010

How to Survive...

You’re still in that life
--but not really.
And your out of that life
--but not quite.

Come to stay
or
Stay away


To give you up
God!
What a bell of freedom
That rings within me
No more waiting for
Letters
Phone calls
Post cards
That never come.


I am afraid that I will run out of poems
Before I run out of pain.


I rained, rain.


The sun will rise
In a few minutes

It’s been doing it
--regularly--
for as long as I
can remember.

Maybe I should
pin my hopes
on important,
but often
unnoticed,
certainties
like that,

not on such relatively
trivial matters as
whether you will never
love me or not.


Hurt for a while.


I hope I heal soon.
I want to enjoy
Autumn.


You are beautiful just because you are.


You require time to heal. Give yourself the luxury. You deserve it.


I shall miss loving you.

I shall miss the
Comfort
Of your embrace.

I shall miss the
Loneliness
Of waiting for your calls
That never came.

I shall miss the Joy
Of our comings,
and Pain
of your goings.

And,
After a time
I shall miss

Missing
Loving
You.


With each new person I meet
I wonder, is this the day
Fate has chosen, or is fate
What I have chosen to get me
Through the day.

The memory of loving
The most
Destructive.


While your internal world is chaotic,
Keep to a schedule in the outer.
This will give a sense of order
--also something to hold on to.


Falling asleep
Exhausted tomorrow
Early evening
Too tired
Even for
Nightmares.


I am missing you
Far better than
I ever loved you


Sundays are the worst.

Holidays are the second worst.

Saturday nights aren’t much fun either.

It’s hard to look back upon any gain in life that does not have a loss attached to it.

Limbo : Is it on? Is it off? Is it a gain? Is it a loss?

Not knowing may be the worst torture of all.

When in limbo, and your better instincts tell you there’s little hope, it’s better to end the situation than to let it drag on and on.

Be with that pain. NOW. Set time aside for mourning.

To give up this final hope may be the most difficult of all.

Your anger will go away as your hurt heals.

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